What communication style do you typically use in your relationships?
Answer the following statements to find out.
Read the following questions and assign yourself a number for each of your answers as follows:
Strongly disagree
1
Disagree
2
Neutral
3
Agree
4
Strongly agree
5
1. I sometimes get ignored when I need attention the most.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
2. This person usually doesn't have a clue as to what I am feeling.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
3. I often have difficulty getting a meaningful conversation going with this person.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
4. I get mad when I don't get the attention I need from this person.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
5. I often find myself becoming irritable with this person.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
6. I often feel irritated that this person isn't on my side.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
7. I have trouble getting this person to listen to me.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
8. I find it difficult to get this person to open up to me.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
9. I have trouble getting this person to talk to me.
strongly disagree
disagree
neutral
agree
strongly agree
Now write in the box provided your combined scores for each of the sets of questions to find out more about your own communication style:
Your score for questions 1-3: Scores below 8 mean that you are direct in your relationship. This is great news for your relationship, because you have the ability to state clearly what you need from this person. If your score is 8 or higher, you may have a difficult time expressing yourself in your relationship. The other person in your relationship may feel as if s/he has to be a mind reader to understand what you need.
Your score for questions 4-6: Scores below 8 mean that you are not overly forceful in expressing what you need from this person. Your relationship benefits from this quality of yours because it's easier for the other person to hear and understand what you need. If your score is 8 or higher, you may be expressing so much anger in your relationship that you are turning this person away. Maybe this is because of past frustrations, or maybe it is the way your personality is.
Your score for questions 7-9: If your score is below 8, this means you have a high level of trust in your relationship. If your score is 8 or higher, this reflects a problem with the level of trust in your relationship. You may need to do more to win this person's trust. Some people accomplish this by concentrating more on responding to the other person's needs, rather than trying to get the other person to respond to you.
