Anyone can have doubts about his/her relationship and wonder: “Is my relationship healthy? Is it worth it? Should I stay or should I go?”  Ask yourself the question, “Does your relationship feel controlling or equal and supportive?”  This question will help you figure out how healthy or unhealthy your relationship is.

Mark an “X” on the line to indicate where your relationship is or was.

           Controlling                                                                            Equal/Supportive

Does your relationship feel more controlling?

o  He or she shows little interest in my feelings and disregards my concerns.

o  My boyfriend/girlfriend ridicules me and makes me feel inadequate.

o  My boyfriend/girlfriend seems super-jealous, often questioning where I am going or where I’ve been and intentions.

o  I often avoid saying or doing things for fear of upsetting him or her.

o  It is always his/her way. Sometimes he/she calls me stupid.

Or Does your relationship feel equal and supportive?

o  I feel totally comfortable sharing my feelings and opinions and feel my boyfriend/girlfriend really cares about them.

o  I feel respected by my boyfriend/girlfriend.

o  He/she encourages me to develop and better myself and supports me in my goals and interests in life.

o  My boyfriend/girlfriend and I support each other and are good friends to each other.

Think about your answers and describe how you would like a relationship to be.  What can you do to move your relationship toward a more healthy one?

Caution: If you put an “X” by controlling, the relationship could be on a slippery path toward abuse and serious danger—or it may be there already.  If this is the case, you need to seek help. If you are afraid in your relationship, talk to a parent or a trusted adult. You can also call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474 – 24 hours, 7 days a week.