Read each statement that describes different relationships. If you were one of these relationships, would you think you are being “Smart” or “Not-so-Smart” in these situations?

o      We have similar values about sex. Even though the pressures are there, we are both deciding to hold off on sex. Besides, who knows if we’ll even be together after high school.

Yes, you are smart about holding off on sex until you are sure about the relationship.

o      I really value self-control and honesty, but my boyfriend/girlfriend seems to live from moment-to-moment without thinking about how his/her actions hurt and affect others.

You are wise about valuing self-control and honesty; however, keeping the relationship with someone who does not hold these values would be not-so-smart. 

o    My boyfriend/girlfriend respects my values about drugs. They have really messed up my family. Even though there are a lot of opportunities to do drugs, I’m not going there.

You and your boyfriend/girlfriend agree on the use of drugs that they are not good for your relationship. Smart.

o     I’m happy with the level of out physical affection and not ready to go any further. But my boyfriend/girlfriend tells me everyone’s doing it and I’m just uptight. Maybe I should just get it over with and have sex with him/her.

It is tempting to go along with your boyfriend/girlfriend, but by doing so, you are not being honest about yourself and this would be not-so-smart.

You need to ask how in or out of sync the two of you are on such things. The big questions to ask are: Does this person share and/or respect my values? Does this person pressure me to do things that go against my values? How does this person act in situations that test his/her values?